July 10th, 2009
OK, so this may be a weird use of Live Journal, but I'm going to try anyway. Maybe it's because I moved around a decent amount as a kid, but I have a tendency to just disconnect from everything that I leave as soon as I leave it (old towns, old schools, old friends) and attempt to reinvent myself. I think I did it with TJ and I may do it with college too. And I don't want to.
So this is my first post in almost 3 years, having just learned to log on again, and it is a simple request: I am Grace, TJ class of '05. If you remember me, still use livejournal and have an interest in getting in touch with me or just alerting me to your existence, please comment.
Current Location: work
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: watching Dead Like Me
August 28th, 2006
All those stupid jackasses bought all the available tickets for the Sufjan Stevens concert at UNC and there are absolutely none anywhere. FUCK FUCK FUCK
I was so excited. Shit, why didn't I borrow one of my UNC friend's cards and get the tickets that way? I definitely didn't think it would sell out so fast.
Scalpers? Please please please - I absolutely NEED to be at this concert. How often does my favorite musical artist perform 20 minutes away? FUCKING TARHEELS
In case you couldn't tell I am reallllllllly upset right now.
Happy 1st day of school
Current Mood: irate
August 11th, 2006
|12:12 am - Things learned in the past several weeks|
- I am insecure - annoyingly so, but I am pretty good at disguising it.
- No one else appreciates my taste in music or television.
- I miss school like WHOA!
- I really want to be in the Navy. I want to fly. It feels good to be able to say that with some certainty.
- My Psychology of Gender class sounds very squiggly and odd. Exciting?
- Lists are the resort of the lazy, tired and stupid.
- I have SO MUCH TO DO before leaving for school on Tuesday.
- San Diego is beautiful, but I could only live there as a young single person I think. Fun but too expensive for a family.
- I miss playing the clarinet.
- I really want to go back to school. Mrinalini and I will be best roommates ever!
- I am extremely good at torturing myself with memories of stupid things I've done.
- I love the beach.
- Too many of these items begin with the word I.
- Perhaps I have grown out of LJ?
June 2nd, 2006
Going to visit Mrinalini tomorrow!!! Yay Connecticut and wildly Indian weekends.
Today I learned how to pronounce Sufjan Stevens's name. It's Sufi-yawn. Damn, now I feel retarded...
I also learned that if you call the number Mike Jones gives out in the song "Cuttin'" you will not actually get to talk to Mike Jones.
I gave away my clarinet to my cousin. Is this the end of the love story? Poss, but I'm still unsure.
Queen Latifah is so awesome. Am I the only one who realizes this?
I love pizza. And haircuts. And endorphins. And bad sitcoms. And music. And spider solitaire.
I rediscovered books this summer. So excited for all my reading!
So, I'm in CT this weekend, in England for most of June, in San Diego for all of July and back at Duke in mid August. Summer is never gonna be the same, is it?
May 15th, 2006
|12:05 am - Popping the Bubble|
Why do I always think on Sundays? And why does my thinking invariably end up with me feeling guilty for a multitude of things?
My Duke bubble popped today, which is impressive considering I've only been home for about 5 hours. It started because I am determined to stay informed this summer, so I broke out the front section of the Washington Post (hoorah!) and watched the local news. 18-yr-old escaped mental patient shot a cop with small children (he had 7 fucking guns - what kind of family with a psychotic kid living in their house keeps seven weapons there??). Shootings in the city. And then, the guilt hits - with the article in the Post talking to veterans about Iraq. My mom and I were talking about it and it's true, their resentment of the American public is entirely justified. Since nothing has been demanded of us for this war (ie drafting, rations, etc), no one pays it a bit of attention unless it has directly impacted your life. One veteran described sitting in an Italian restaurant while on leave and wanting to scream at all the people taking everything for granted. Just think about it. It makes me feel even more pathetic because I imagine that I am somehow helping out by doing ROTC. I'm doing jack shit. I march sometimes in the morning, take a few classes and wear a uniform on Thursdays. These people are fighting a goddam war and no one cares. Hell, I don't care most of the time. It's easier not to and it's hard to work up enthusiasm for the same news day after day. Still, as someone who will be in the Armed Forces some day, I can't help feeling that leaving these young men and women stranded with their struggles and their memories is a horrible thing for us to be doing.
I feel restless. Home just doesn't feel quite right, like I'm spending the weekend with relatives or something instead of coming back to where I belong. I guess I'll give it time. All the time I spent last week fantasizing about being here, I should have known would lead to disappointment. But at the same time, it's comfortable. My couches are here, my parents are here. There's a new radio in the kitchen, which inexplicably bothers me. My brother is turning in pictures of himself in the shower to his Spanish class which is... awkward to say the least. It's kind of bad that his study habits in high school are like mine in college. This does not bode well for the future.
I think I will go waste time and do Pilates because I need to move.
May 10th, 2006
|10:01 pm - In Between|
I feel so between right now. I'm not a freshman or a 4th class, but I can't become a sophomore 3rd class until after commissioning (which is either Friday or Saturday, I should prob find that out...).
At first when I realized I was staying at Duke an extra week to do Navy and regular graduations, I was really excited. The idea of going home just felt so wrong and boring. But after the negative funness that was my crappy trip to Myrtle Beach and the strange feeling of living out of my car that I am currently experiencing, I just want to be one place or the other. Either real Duke or real home. I can't even use my own computer because somehow Bell Tower's wireless is different than all the other wirelesses in the whole campus and I can't get online. SO sitting all alone in the computer lab of Carr at 9:30 is probably not helping my mood any.
At the same time, getting to hang out/get to know Deepika and Angela (other AOPi pledges) is awesome and I am possibly sleeping on their floor tonight. But it just doesn't feel real. I hate when I start thinking - it's always a mistake.
Why is Alexis in Peru? Why have I been semi-stalking one of my guy friends/crushes for the past few weeks? Why am I constantly embarassed by myself? Why am I possibly one of the most boring people I know (except Chi O Megan - she is boringer)? Why is Sufjan Stevens so amazing? And why, despite all my whining, am I still pretty damn content with life?
Oh yeah, because I am an extremely lucky person. Perspective is a good thing - remember that, children.
March 19th, 2006
I love college basketball.
And UVA friends.
But mostly college basketball.
GMU BEATS UNC = HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY!!!!
Back at Duke - mixed feelings as usual.
*Sigh*, where is my Mrinalini?
Is it wrong that I don't really miss either crew or high school?
Did I mention that I love college basketball?
Current Mood: basketbally
December 25th, 2005
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever your heart desires! Enjoy the holidays (and for college kids, free yummy food and squishy beds) and spread goodwill and cheer and all that fantastically splendid stuff.
Current Mood: HOLIDAY!
Current Music: "O Holy Night" by Nat King Cole
November 12th, 2005
( movie thingamabobCollapse )
Good news: After days of stress and 5 moderately challenging hours of Sea Devil Trials not worth all the stress, I am officially a Midshipman 4th Class of the Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps batallion of Duke University. Yes, I thought I was a member since August too, but whatever. What's important is that Navy means a lot to me, more than I ever thought it would, and I didn't make a complete fool of myself today.
Not so lucky in the not making a fool of myself on the boy front though, but whatever. I just need to give up on this one guy, but I can't bring myself to do it. I guess I enjoy polite/gentle rejection.
But Duke is so amazing. I have the most ridiculously crazy/busy/full of easy psych-test flunking weeks and then the most awesomely fun weekends/evenings. I really like being busy and being around friends. I'm trying to keep in touch with the home folks, but it can be so hard not to get completely wrapped up in my new life. So please don't have your feelings hurt if you haven't heard from me. Especially if you live in a most inconvenient time zone (aka Millie).
I am going out tonight and I am going to enjoy it, dammit. And the angst will cease and desist immediately.
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: "Don't Dream It's Over" by Sixpence None the Richer
October 2nd, 2005
ATTENTION ALL COLLEGE KIDS: Anyone going to be home next Sunday, Monday or Tuesday? Cuz I will and I want to see alllllll of you. Let me know, ok?
In other news, I'm glad I don't go to the Naval Academy. And I asked a Duke basketball player to dance last night, but he said no. He's just a freshman and he's supershy (and from Lithuania!), but I was still proud of myself for asking.
Duke is a bizarre combination of extreme work/stress/running around like a crazy person and extreme fun and I have to say I like it a lot.
Time to study for mid-terms...
Current Music: Shakira!